I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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