Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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