Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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