Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
