I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
