You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
