oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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