girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
What drink are we having for lunch?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
