'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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