At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
please come you make the beer taste better
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
