I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There's always time for handjobs
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
