She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
