i already hear my dad disowning me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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