Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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