And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
