Plan B is the new Plan A
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
