I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
