Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize