Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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