Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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