I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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