Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
