That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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