I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
