RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
