I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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