Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
