do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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