He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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