I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
