your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
