I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
