Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
