Don't you send me to vm
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
