It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
ok first of all what the fuck
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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