just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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