this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
