she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
