if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
