Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
