Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
