when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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