Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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