would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
