He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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