I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
