wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
