I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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