Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
