I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
