He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
