His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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