help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
