is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
