I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
