he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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