Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
