yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
