I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
