It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
