I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize