I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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