Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
