this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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