With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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