My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
